It seems as if I can only write about pain, as if I only have inspiration when I’m hurt. It seems as if you’re the only thought I can write about, as if you’re the only feeling I’m able to express.
I don’t want to seem dramatic; it’s not like I’m dying without you. I know my worth. I know I’m an awesome human being. But I still miss you. I still miss the times we had. Whenever I try to think of the fights we had, just to remind myself it wasn’t all fun and games, I can’t think of any.
I wish I could tell myself you’re an asshole, that you didn’t treat me right, and that I deserve better. I do tell myself I deserve better, but I wish I could believe it. I still believe you were the best thing that ever happened to me.
Not talking to you for two weeks feels like ages. Having separated not even 1,5 month ago feels like a lifetime. It feels so old but also so new. It feels so far away but also so very close. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that it hurts so much.
What happens when you lose the one thing you were certain was the best thing that ever happened to you?
What happens when you fully believe and trust that someone else, other than yourself, is the best thing that happened to you?
What happens when you completely lose yourself in another person?
What happens when you’re so broken you don’t even know who you are anymore?